I’ve felt a little funny recently, perhaps it’s because I feel guilty for the position I’m in and the job I get to do. I would have done anything to be where I am now a couple of years ago, and I definitely wouldn’t have believed you if you’d shown me a vision into my future. It’s funny, but success and being stable financially really don’t equate to true happiness. Mental health issues don’t just disappear because you’ve ticked off a life goal, and you don’t always just start being a confident beam of light just because things are going well…
Truth be told, I find that having fun has always come at a bit of a cost. Parties, weekends away, drunken nights with friends – they are pretty much always followed by a down day on the sofa. I’ve never been someone who gets up and ceases the day, I have to work hard to motivate myself and convince myself that I deserve the best out of life. Each and every day. Some days it’s easier than others, and some days I just want to switch off completely and avoid all adult responsibility.
Whenever I have a really great few days, or a great few weeks, I can always be certain that difficult times are around the corner. It feels like a curse sometimes, but I can easily exhaust myself – overthinking and under-appreciating how far I’ve come…
It’s seems silly to write this blog post this month, as I’ve literally just finished writing one (that I’m due to post) about how June will be a month of saying yes. However, the point I make in that post is the importance of saying yes more to the things that nourish your soul. Taking time for yourself, not just busying yourself with things that constantly add to the pile of stress and dampen your outlook. It’s something that I’m only just beginning to understand the importance of as I head fast towards my twenty sixth birthday…
I think it’s because I just got back from a good old long week in Barcelona, and time away can often leave me feeling a little out of sorts. It’s that feeling of wanting to take a break from reality, but then also the chore of having to reconnect with it when you return…
It can feel daunting, and sometimes you forget your place and what your purpose is. With this in mind, I spent the weekend chilling at home – writing at my own pace, cooking food, and catching up on my TV shows. It was much needed, and I’m already starting to feel inspired for the month ahead. There’s so much that I want to shoot and create, and sometimes can be overwhelming as one person. It often feels like there’s just not enough time in the day to get everything done.
That’s just the nature of being a creative person I think, it’s part of the package, and part of the reason we push ourselves to the brink of insanity sometimes. Late nights spent in loungewear surrounded by questionable food choices, and a scribbled list of notes to bring to life. I’ve realised that taking time off is important, but giving ourselves time to catch up with the world is just as necessary…
Photographs by Adriana
Trousers – And Other Stories
Belt – vintage (similar here)
Shoes – Mango
Bag – Staud Clothing
Necklaces – TwinFace & Edge Of Ember
Earrings – vintage (similar here)
SHOP THE LOOK
So glad to read I’m not the only one with these feelings and thoughts. Sometimes I can’t even describe what I’m thinking and searching for words. Reading this is a good and full of recognition to me.
Thank you! So glad you could relate in some way xx
I love how you can motivate people (and yourself) while being complete honest about your ups and downs. I can’t stand people who just shows the ‘good side’ like their life was always on point. We are all humans, we all feel down sometimes and that’s ok.
Take time to care about yourself when you feel like things around you are overwhelming, because you can allow yourself some me-time without feeling guilty. You achieved a lot and you’re a beautiful soul! Keep going xx
Thank you so much – this really means a lot as I sometimes worry people will just think it’s doom and gloom ha. So thankful to have such thoughtful readers on the same wave length xx
Alice, I can relate to this so much. Sometimes I feel like you’re putting into words exactly how I’m feeling. I recently got a new job, the kind of job I’ve wanted for ages and while I’m happier during work I still have all the same mental health/anxiety issues I always had. It’s refreshing to hear someone else goes through that too. I always get that dread when I’ve been feeling good that it’s all just going to crash down again. Thank you for always writing such inspiring posts. Take care of you X
Thank you so much! And I can totally relate – the anxieties just shift and become new ones as we grow sometimes. I think we just have to allow the anxious times and not fight against them too much, things always get better, and a new job role will allow you to grow as a person. I hope you’re settling in well and not too stressed out! xx
You look great! x
I always exhaust myself too! I need to remember to fill my life with more ‘me’ days and take care of my head and body xxx